The loss of a pet may be a child’s first experience with death–he or she may feel guilt, sadness or fear. He or she may be angry with him/herself, family members, or the veterinarian for not being able to save the pet.
Children need to know that it is healthy to talk about death. Encourage open dialogue and the freedom to express opinions and feelings. Don’t be afraid to answer questions with “I don’t know the answer, but I’ll get back to you on that.” Consistent attention from caregivers and time are also important to help children come to terms with their loss. It’s a good idea to find out what your child already knows and validate any feelings he or she may express. Then tell the story simply and honestly.
Explain how you might feel when your pet dies—sad, mad, confused—and that it is OK to cry or want to talk or need time alone. Children learn by example, so don’t hide your own feelings. Showing your own grief gives children permission to show theirs, while holding grief back may inadvertently teach children to suppress their own sad feelings. You may also want to explain that while remembering your pet’s life, it is normal to also laugh at funny stories.
Many report that setting aside some special time to acknowledge the loss, pay tribute and share memories is helpful. Whether you have a funeral or a ritual of your own making, encourage children to participate. They may find drawing pictures, writing stories or putting together a collage or scrapbook a positive way to express their emotions.
